joke bank - Boycott These Jokes

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

ayo_curly_...

A blind man walked into a fish market and said, "Hello ladies!"

memcgon

Q: Why is a woman with no breasts a pirate's delight?
A: Because she has a sunken chest.

Bill52

There was this homeless drunk dude laying in an alley talking out loud saying, "I wish had another drink." He then passed out. As he was saying that, a gay dude was walking by and heard him. When the gay guy came back, he f*cked the homeless guy and put three dollars in his pocket. The homeless dude woke up later and found the money, ran to the liquor store, and said, "Give me the cheapest half of pint you have," and went back to his spot, drunk it and passed out again. The gay dude came back, f*cked the homeless dude again, and left five dollars. He ran back to the liquor store and said, "Give me the cheapest pint you have," and went back to his spot. The gay dude came back again. Once he saw the homeless man passed out, he f*cked him again and left eight dollars The homeless dude woke up and realized he had some more money. He ran back to the liquor store, and before he could say a word, the owner said, "I know, you want the cheapest pint you can get," and the homeless dude said, "No, give me the most expensive half you got. That cheap liquor is tearing my ass up."

slimlatoya

Here is a pick up line. "Hey girl, come sit on my lap and we could talk about the first thing that pops up."

poisonedxfear

Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bath tub?
A: Throw in some laundry.

Mark My Words

This brother was banging his sister, and he says, "You f*ck like Mom," and she laughs. He says, "What?" She says, "That's what Dad said."

matthew13

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

BlackKeebler

There's a man walking a tight rope 60 feet above ground. There's another man getting a bl*wjob from a 60 year old woman. What are they both thinking at the exact same time? Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, don't look down!

bella404

A man recently had his arm amputated and decided to kill himself by jumping off a building. When he was ready to jump, he saw a man with both arms amputated dancing around. He decided to find out why he was so happy. The man told him, “I’m not dancing. My ass is itching and I can’t scratch it!”

cabezon

2 terrorists walk in a bar and talk

The bartender asks whats the talk about

Terrorist 1 - we are going to kill 14k people and a donkey

Bartender- why a donkey?

Terrorist 2- see i told you no-one would care about the 14k people

Anonymous

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

badamitz