TIM ALLEN IS BACK IN HOLLYWOOD ON FEB 1ST! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS SO HURRY AND GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!! COME AND SUPPORT A SPECIAL FUNDRAISER SHOW FOR THE CRIMMINS' FAMILY ON JAN. 23RD FEATURING TODAY'S TOP COMICS!

joke bank - Boycott These Jokes

Why do women have one more brain cell than a horse? For managing not to drink the water from the bucket while she sweeps the floor.

Piroman

Q: What kind of wood doesn't float?
A: Natalie Wood.

My Uncle Bob

Q: What's green and eats meat?
A: Syphilis.

Anonymous

What do you call a cholo with one short leg and one regular leg? Not even a!

kenpo

Q: What do you call a lady that is stuck to a lamppost?
A: A lamppost lady.

Anonymous

A man went to the All Stars game with two front row seat tickets. He sat down and then another man asked him if the other chair was taken. The man said " no, it was supposed to be for my wife." The other man said " well where is she? And he said "she died two days ago" from a stroke. The other man said "well thats unfortunate, I'm so sorry for you. But should'nt you give this seat to another family members?" And the man said, "no they're all at the funeral"

Anonymous

Johnny and Dave own a meat business. they are driving down a dirt road in there meat truck and hit something big bang!!!!! what the hell was that said johnny. Dave said i have know idea. johnny said go have a look. Dave comes back and said we've hit a cow. johnny said is it any good. Dave said its head is crushed. johnny said well cut its head off skin it gut it and put it in the back with the rest. so they drive down the road and hit a sheep johnny said is it any good Dave said yes johnny said skin it gut it chuck it in the back with the rest. they drove down the road a little bit more bang!!!!! what the f*ck was that said johnny i don't know. go have a look said johnny. Dave came back and said we've hit a pig johnny said is it any good yeah skin it gut it chuck it in the back with the rest. dave comes back and says what do you want me to do with his motorbike

jordan