A man recently had his arm amputated and decided to kill himself by jumping off a building. When he was ready to jump, he saw a man with both arms amputated dancing around. He decided to find out why he was so happy. The man told him, “I’m not dancing. My ass is itching and I can’t scratch it!”
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.
Q: How do you kill 100 flies at once? A: Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
What do nine out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.
Red Riding Hood was a bad bitch. She looked so f*cking good, damn! When she got to grandmas, the wolf jumped out and said, "Damn bitch, Imma f*ck the sh*t outta you." Red pulled a glock out her basket and said, "Nah motherf*cker, you're gonna eat me like the story said."