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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

brock

Nurse: "The invisible man is here for his appointment."
Doctor: "Tell him I'm sorry I can't see him right now."

Skylar May

A man called his child's doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

Gerri

Q. What can you give and keep at the same time?
A. A cold!

hello_the_...

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her "w".

Me

Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well."

TheLaughFa...

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Michael

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."

valli :)

If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Anonymous

Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.

Kroft

Q: What stays in one corner but travels around the world?
A: A stamp.

Maja Zajac