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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What stays in one corner but travels around the world?
A: A stamp.

Maja Zajac

"Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?" exclaimed the angry mother. “It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”

TheLaughFa...

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick.

Matt Rees

Q: What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?
A: Bernadette.

Anonymous

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.

Anonymous

Patient: "I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."
Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out."

Anonymous

A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says, "You should not eat it if the seal is broken, so I'm looking for the seal."

Anonymous

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

TheLaughFa...

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Lucyfaith16

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

Son: "Dad, when will I be old enough so I don't have to ask mom for her permission to go out?"
Dad: "Son, even I haven't grown old enough to go out without her permission!"

Naushil Me...