joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
A: There’s no menu; you get what you deserve.

TheLaughFa...

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."

Mark My Words

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Michael

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
A: Decalfeinated.

Anonymous

Son: "Dad, when will I be old enough so I don't have to ask mom for her permission to go out?"
Dad: "Son, even I haven't grown old enough to go out without her permission!"

Naushil Me...

Q: Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day?
A: Because there are lots of fans.

Iamsnappy4

If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Anonymous

A man called his child's doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

Gerri

A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the woman, "You must be single." The woman was surprised & replies, "Yes, how did you know?" The clerk answers, "Because you're ugly."

SoftWars

Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.

Anonymous