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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Between you and me, there's something that smells.

Anonymous

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.

Apineash a...

Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.

Anonymous

There are three friends named Mad, Brain, and Fight. One day Fight went missing and his friends Mad and Brain started searching for him. Then Brain said, "Mad, let's file a missing person report with the police." When they were about to walk into the police station, Brain said, "Mad, you go and make the report. I will wait for you here." Mad said, "Okay." Mad walked in but no police officers paid attention to him. Then he saw a policeman drinking a cup of coffee. Mad went to the officer, smacked the table, and the cup of coffee flew in the air, landing in the officer's lap. Angry, the policeman asked, "Are you looking for a fight?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am." The policeman asked, "Are you mad?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am Mad." The policeman then asked, "Don't you have a brain?" Mad replied, "Brain is outside sir."

Anonymous

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter

Q: Why did the painting go to jail?
A: It was framed.

Capricorn37

Q: What did the cross-eyed teacher say?
A: I can't control my pupils!

Joke Master

One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"

FuzzyPanda123

Q: What do cars eat on their toast?
A: Traffic jam.

Anonymous

A man called his child's doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

Gerri