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joke bank - Clean Jokes

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
Nobody stands up
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
Little Johnny stands up
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

lucy lemon

A man called his child's doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

Gerri

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you! Need a tissue?

Anonymous

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

hello_the_...

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Takeoff Zebra

Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
A: Because she ran away from the ball.

ellie pick...

Q: Why did Cinderella fail at basketball?
A: Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

EMILYMACARONI

Question: What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll?
Answer: "People keep on ripping me off!"

Anonymous

Q. What can you give and keep at the same time?
A. A cold!

hello_the_...

One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"

FuzzyPanda123