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"Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?" exclaimed the angry mother. “It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”

TheLaughFactory

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Capricorn37

Q: Did you hear about the guy who dreamed he was eating a giant marshmallow?
A: When he woke up, his pillow was gone.

joejoej13

A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says, "You should not eat it if the seal is broken, so I'm looking for the seal."

Anonymous

Q: Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?
A: He couldn't fit in the elevator

TheLaughFactory