LAUGHTER WITH A CAUSE WITH MAZ JOBRANI & FRIENDS ON NOVEMBER 1 IN OUR HOLLYWOOD CLUB! GET YOUR TIX NOW!

joke bank - Clean Jokes

If number two pencils are so popular why are they still number two?

Sarah

Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.

Kroft

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Takeoff Zebra

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you! Need a tissue?

Anonymous

If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Anonymous

Q: What do cars eat on their toast?
A: Traffic jam.

Anonymous

Q. What can you give and keep at the same time?
A. A cold!

hello_the_...

Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
A: Because she ran away from the ball.

ellie pick...

Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!

hello_the_...

Son: "Dad, when will I be old enough so I don't have to ask mom for her permission to go out?"
Dad: "Son, even I haven't grown old enough to go out without her permission!"

Naushil Me...

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Question: What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll?
Answer: "People keep on ripping me off!"

Anonymous