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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well."

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why did the painting go to jail?
A: It was framed.

Capricorn37

Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."

Mark My Words

Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.

Kroft

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Between you and me, there's something that smells.

Anonymous

Q. What can you give and keep at the same time?
A. A cold!

hello_the_...

If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Anonymous

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Takeoff Zebra

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
A: "Odor in the court!"

jonpingel

Q: What did the cross-eyed teacher say?
A: I can't control my pupils!

Joke Master

Q: What do cars eat on their toast?
A: Traffic jam.

Anonymous

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you! Need a tissue?

Anonymous