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joke bank - Clean Jokes

One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"

FuzzyPanda123

If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Anonymous

Nurse: "The invisible man is here for his appointment."
Doctor: "Tell him I'm sorry I can't see him right now."

Skylar May

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick.

Matt Rees

If number two pencils are so popular why are they still number two?

Sarah

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

One day, 3 men died and went to heaven. "Religion?" God's secretary asked the first man.
"Jewish," the man replied.
"Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8," the secretary said.
"Religion?" he asked the second man.
"Muslim."
"Go to room 10, but be very quiet when you go past room 8."
"Religion?" he asked the third man.
"Agnostic."
"Go to room 71, but be very quiet when you go past room 8."
"Why must I be quiet when I go past room 8?" the man asked.
The secretary replied, "Oh, the Catholics are in room 8, and they think that they are they only ones here."

Guybrush

Q: What does a nosy pepper do? A: It gets jalapeƱo business.

MrSamoa684

Q: What type of book has only characters and no story?
A: A telephone book.

Reshav Bha...

Son: "Dad, when will I be old enough so I don't have to ask mom for her permission to go out?"
Dad: "Son, even I haven't grown old enough to go out without her permission!"

Naushil Me...

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

TheLaughFa...

Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Willem Van...