joke bank - Clean Jokes

"Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?" exclaimed the angry mother. “It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”

TheLaughFa...

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

hello_the_...

Q: What stays in one corner but travels around the world?
A: A stamp.

Maja Zajac

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?
A: Bernadette.

Anonymous

One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"

FuzzyPanda123

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick.

Matt Rees

Patient: "I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."
Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out."

Anonymous

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Lucyfaith16

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
Nobody stands up
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
Little Johnny stands up
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

lucy lemon

Q: What happens when you cross a shark with a cow?
A: I don't know but I wouldn't milk it.

Ahadito