joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What does a nosy pepper do? A: It gets jalapeño business.

Q: Wanna hear a joke about construction?
A: Never mind, I'm still working on it.

Q: Why did the runner stop listing to music?
A: Because she broke too many records.

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"

Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A: Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.

Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Q: What type of book has only characters and no story?
A: A telephone book.

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.