A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"
A redneck's last words are always, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.
Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.
Q: Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A: A taxi driver.