joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Have you heard the story of the magic sandwich? Never mind, it's just a bunch of bologna.

Q: Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day?
A: Because there are lots of fans.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Q: What do you say to a lollipop when you throw it away?
A: "So long sucker!"

A redneck's last words are always, "Hey y'all, watch this!"

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A: A thesaurus.

Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.

Q: What happens when you cross a shark with a cow?
A: I don't know but I wouldn't milk it.

Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!