joke bank - Clean Jokes

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"

Q: Why did the runner stop listing to music?
A: Because she broke too many records.

Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
A: Take it to the doc.

Q: Wanna hear a joke about construction?
A: Never mind, I'm still working on it.

Q: What does a nosy pepper do? A: It gets jalapeño business.

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A: Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.