Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom.
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: "Breathe, stupid!"