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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: How do you turn white chocolate into dark chocolate?
A: Turn off the light.

EF

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.

Anonymous

Q: What type of book has only characters and no story?
A: A telephone book.

Reshav Bha...

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Steve, so I asked him, "What's the name of his other leg?"

NILESH.M.J...

Q: Why does a cow wear a bell around its neck?
A: Because its horns don't work.

Krispyk

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken.

Victor Le

Q: What did the magnet say to the other magnet?
A: I find you very attractive!

Anonymous

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Anonymous

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her "w".

Me

Patient: "I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."
Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out."

Anonymous

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagles

Anonymous