joke bank - Clean Jokes

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: "It's pasture bedtime."

Lee Ann S.

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken.

Victor Le

Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

skylah gol...

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

TheLaughFa...

What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill? Running...JK! Rolling.

pinkshorts...

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Anonymous

Q: What does a nosy pepper do? A: It gets jalapeño business.

MrSamoa684

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Steve, so I asked him, "What's the name of his other leg?"

NILESH.M.J...

Q: Why does a cow wear a bell around its neck?
A: Because its horns don't work.

Krispyk

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A: A thesaurus.

Silenxio M...