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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.

Anonymous

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

bobby

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

John Ocall...

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the "10" button.

dukieman

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

pinktabby

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."

LOVE LAUGH...

Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away.

sanchie

Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

Rudy T. Mo...

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.

Pat

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

Bill Mills

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

hatcher