joke bank - Clean Jokes

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk." The wasted man asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled."


Q: Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?
A: He couldn't fit in the elevator


Q: Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
A: Because they were watch dogs.


Q: Why do pirates not know the alphabet?
A: They always get stuck at "c."


Q: What does a clam do on its birthday? A: Shellabrate!


Q: Why is the letter B very cool?
A: Because it's sitting in the AC.


Q: Can a match box?
A: No, but a tin can.


Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.


Q: Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.


Q: Why did they have to bury George Washington standing up?
A: Because he could never lie.


Q: Why did the man take toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he was a party pooper.


I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Silenxio M...