joke bank - Clean Jokes

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

TheLaughFa...

An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."

Samga

Q: Which two letters in the alphabet are always jealous?
A: NV.

Anonymous

Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

A: No ballroom.

TheLaughFa...

There was a plane and it had 5 people in it: a president, a lawyer, a young teenage boy, a priest and a blonde girl. The plane driver said that the plane was going to crash so one of them has to jump off without a parachute because there was only 4 so they were talking to each other about who was going to jump off without a parachute. The president spoke first and he said " I run a part of this earth so I should get a parachute" so he jumped off with one. Then the blonde girl spoke and she said " I look beautiful so I should get one too" so she jumped off with one. The next person to speak was the lawyer and he said " I help people solve their problems so I should get one" so he jumped off with one. Now there was only two people left: a priest and the teenage boy. The priest said to the boy " here you take the last parachute and go because you will live a longer life then me" but then the boy said "no, it's all right because there is still 2 parachutes left. The blonde girl only took my backpack".

Super Joke...

Q: When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, what happens?
A: UCLA.

Anonymous

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing it just waved

Anonymous

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Rexx

Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.

Anonymous

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Anonymous

Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up? A: "Someday my prints will come."

jayda

Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.

Anonymous