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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Rexx

Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up? A: "Someday my prints will come."

jayda

Q: Why is a river rich? A: Because it has two banks.

ISHA KHANNA

Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.

Anonymous

Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.

marty

Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.

Anonymous

A redneck's last words are always, "Hey y'all, watch this!"

Anonymous

Q. What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns?

A. Go for the juggler.

Anonymous

Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!

cupquake

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Anonymous

Q: What says "Eoo?"
A: A cow with no lips.

joke bank

Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light. The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, "Hey, you just went through a red light." The guy driving says, "Don't worry about it. My brother does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a second red light. The guy driving slams on the gas pedal and zooms past another red light. His friend is pretty mad, looks at him and says, "Hey man, you just went through another red light. What the heck are you doing?" The guy driving tells his friend, "Don't worry about it. My brother does this all the time." They come to a third red light and the guy driving slams on the gas, zooming past the red light. His friend starts screaming at him, "What the heck? You're going to get us killed! Pull over and let me out." The guy driving screams back at him, "I'm telling you: don't worry about it. My brother, he does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a green light. The guy driving slams on the brakes. His friend looks at him and says, "Are you out of your mind? What the heck is wrong with you? You go flying past three red lights, almost getting us killed, and then you slam on the brakes when you have a green light?" The guy driving looks at his friend and says, "I had to stop; my brother might have been coming."

Dave