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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Why do seagles fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagles!


Q: Why did the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia stay up all night? A: She was wondering if there really is a dog.

Mark My Words

Q. Why are mountains not just funny?
A. They are also hill areas.


Q: What do you get with a fist and a long piece of wire?
A: A horrible punchline.


I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"


A girl asks her father, " Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" " No," says her father, " it rains to make the plants grow. Do you understand?" " Not exactly," says the girl. " Why does it rain on the sidewalk?"


Q: What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer?
A: A jeweller sells watches and a jailer watches cells.

John Holmes

What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get a new truck, a new wife, and a new dog.


Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.


Q: Where do bees go to the toilet?
A: The BP station.


A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says, "Dude, I'm Jesus Christ!" And the priest says, "No son, you're not." So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, "Man, I'm Jesus Christ!" Then the priest says, "No son, you're not." Finally, the drunk had enough and said, "Here, I'll prove it." He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunk and says, "Jesus Christ, you're back AGAIN?"

Kacie Weggies

Q: How did the blonde fisherman die?
A: He was run over by the Zamboni.