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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What is tall when it's young and short when it's old?
A: A candle.


Q: Why did the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia stay up all night? A: She was wondering if there really is a dog.

Mark My Words

Q: Why do seagles fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagles!


A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says, "Dude, I'm Jesus Christ!" And the priest says, "No son, you're not." So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, "Man, I'm Jesus Christ!" Then the priest says, "No son, you're not." Finally, the drunk had enough and said, "Here, I'll prove it." He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunk and says, "Jesus Christ, you're back AGAIN?"

Kacie Weggies

Q. Why are mountains not just funny?
A. They are also hill areas.


A girl asks her father, " Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" " No," says her father, " it rains to make the plants grow. Do you understand?" " Not exactly," says the girl. " Why does it rain on the sidewalk?"


Q: What do you get with a fist and a long piece of wire?
A: A horrible punchline.


Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.


Q: Where do bees go to the toilet?
A: The BP station.


Q: What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer?
A: A jeweller sells watches and a jailer watches cells.

John Holmes

Ben: "Dad, there is a hole in my shoe."
Dad: "Yes, Ben, that's where you put your foot."


What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get a new truck, a new wife, and a new dog.