joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: How did the blonde fisherman die?
A: He was run over by the Zamboni.

A magician was driving down the road... then he turned into a driveway.

Q : Why do museums have old dinosaur bones ?
A : Because they can't afford new ones

I’m looking for a bank which can perform two things;
Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

Q: Why didn't the witch fly on her broom when she was angry?
A: She was afraid she would fly off the handle.

There was a plane and it had 5 people in it: a president, a lawyer, a young teenage boy, a priest and a blonde girl. The plane driver said that the plane was going to crash so one of them has to jump off without a parachute because there was only 4 so they were talking to each other about who was going to jump off without a parachute. The president spoke first and he said " I run a part of this earth so I should get a parachute" so he jumped off with one. Then the blonde girl spoke and she said " I look beautiful so I should get one too" so she jumped off with one. The next person to speak was the lawyer and he said " I help people solve their problems so I should get one" so he jumped off with one. Now there was only two people left: a priest and the teenage boy. The priest said to the boy " here you take the last parachute and go because you will live a longer life then me" but then the boy said "no, it's all right because there is still 2 parachutes left. The blonde girl only took my backpack".

Q: What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.

Q: Why do pirates like algebra?
A: "Annex" marks the spot.

Q: What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
A: You make a seizure salad.

Dad: Son, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No.
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Okay then!
Dad goes to Bill Gate.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No.
Dad: My son is the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
Bill Gates: Okay then!
Dad goes to the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
Dad: Make my son the CEO.
CEO: No.
Dad: My son is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
CEO: Okay then!
This is BUSINESS.

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin', they hatin'.