joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What has a face and two hands but no arms, legs, or a body?
A: A clock.


Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”


Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Hatch who?
Bless you.


Q: What do cars eat on their toast?
A: Petroleum jelly.


Bob: "Have you seen the movie Constipation?"
Jim: "No, it hasn't come out yet."


Q: What did the buffalo say to her child as he left for school?
A: "Bison!" (bye son)


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo who?
Don't cry. It's only a joke.

my dog

Q: How did the frog die?
A: He Kermit suicide.


Q: What is a question with a different answer every time you're asked? A: "What time is it?"


I have a phobia of over engineered buildings. I have a complex complex complex.


Q: Why did the razor cross the face?
A: To get to the other sideburn.


A young boy is pulling his wagon up a hill when one of the back wheels falls off and rolls down the hill. The young boy says, "I'll be darned." A local pastor heard him and said, "You should not say that. Next time your wheel falls off say, 'Praise the Lord.'" So the next day the young boy is pulling his wagon up the hill and the wheel falls off and rolls down the hill. The young boy says, "Praise the Lord." The wheel stops rolling, turns around, rolls back up the hill and puts itself back on the wagon. The young boy being very surprised by this exclaims, "I'll be darned!"