joke bank - Clean Jokes

A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve lunch here."


Q: What is the king of all inches?
A: The ruler.


Old Man: "Are you the young fellow who sold me this tube yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?"
Clerk: "Yes sir."
Old Man: "Well, I tried for half an hour this morning and I couldn't get my teeth to stick in."


An uneducated father with his educated son went for a camping
they set up a tent and slept
father gets up after sometime and asks his son"what can you see in the sky?"
son:i can see many stars
father:what does it resemble?
son:there are many planets
father beats on his sons head and says "Someone has stolen our tent"


Q: What can only be used after it is broken?
A: An egg.


Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!


Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It is vey time consuming.


The student asked René DesCartes, "Professor, you say 'I think therefore I am.' But how do I know it is I who is thinking?"
"Who wants to know?" answered the old philosopher.


Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher then the average house due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can't jump?

JJ le roiche

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Cargo who?
Cargo "Beep! Beep!"


A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!”


Q: Wanna hear a joke about a stone?
A: Never mind, I will just skip that one.