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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."

Boingy Boing

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

hatcher

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.

make peopl...

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

LOLLYPOP

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

SOME DUDE

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

Cuba

Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."

Cee

Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: "Breathe, stupid!"

saul90716

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?

Anonymous

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"

Darkrose300

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

dherter