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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.

Kimberly M...

Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: "You're too young to smoke."

Terence Ol...

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

Joke maker

Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

Lauren P.

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

Hayden Thomas

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

capcon

Don't break anybody's heart; they only have 1. Break their bones; they have 206.

popular kween

The energizer bunny was arrested on a charge of battery.

Silenxio M...

At the doctor's office, Tom was getting a check up. "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor. "The good news is you have 24 hours left to live." Tom replies, "That's the good news?!" Then the doctor says, "The bad news is I should have told you that yesterday."

Anonymous

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

brock