Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well."