A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.
Q: What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
A: "Get off me, homes!"
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?