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joke bank - Clean Jokes

The energizer bunny was arrested on a charge of battery.

Silenxio M...

Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church. One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, "Where is God?" The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, "Where is God?" The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, "What's wrong?" The crying boy replied, "We're in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him!"

Anonymous

Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."

eileen

Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

capcon

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Bradley th...

Q: Who is the poorest guy in the south?
A: The Tooth Fairy.

mum

Q: Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
A: There’s no menu; you get what you deserve.

TheLaughFa...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I eat mop
I eat mop who?
Hah! You said, "I eat ma poo!"

Anonymous

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.

TheLaughFa...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you! Need a tissue?

Anonymous

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, "Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."

Mikayla