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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

brock

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

polina

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."

Anonymous

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!

My step dad

A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!" The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?" The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope." Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!" The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."

Anonymous

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.

TheLaughFa...

How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

I_H8_2_lov...

There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, "Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."

Mikayla

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

TheLaughFa...