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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

Bookworm

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"

ChickenFin...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you! Need a tissue?

Anonymous

Late one night, a preacher was driving on a country road and had a wreck. A farmer stopped and said, "Sir, are you okay?" The preacher said, "Yes, I had the Lord riding with me." The farmer said, "Well, you better let him ride with me, because you're gonna kill him."

Anonymous

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Anonymous

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.

Anonymous

There are three friends named Mad, Brain, and Fight. One day Fight went missing and his friends Mad and Brain started searching for him. Then Brain said, "Mad, let's file a missing person report with the police." When they were about to walk into the police station, Brain said, "Mad, you go and make the report. I will wait for you here." Mad said, "Okay." Mad walked in but no police officers paid attention to him. Then he saw a policeman drinking a cup of coffee. Mad went to the officer, smacked the table, and the cup of coffee flew in the air, landing in the officer's lap. Angry, the policeman asked, "Are you looking for a fight?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am." The policeman asked, "Are you mad?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am Mad." The policeman then asked, "Don't you have a brain?" Mad replied, "Brain is outside sir."

Anonymous

Question: What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll?
Answer: "People keep on ripping me off!"

Anonymous

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.

jj zenir

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.

Apineash a...

A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children?" The father answers, "Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?"

SaltyDog01