Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Question: What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll?
Answer: "People keep on ripping me off!"
What goes up and down stairs with out moving? Carpet.
Q: What says "Eoo?"
A: A cow with no lips.
Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.