Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday!

joke bank - Clean Jokes

Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."

Anonymous

There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, "Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."

Mikayla

Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.

Anonymous

A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!" The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?" The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope." Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!" The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."

Anonymous

Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.

slim

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.

Dude

Q. What do clouds do when they become rich?

A. They make it rain!

Anonymous

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"

ChickenFin...

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Who is the poorest guy in the south?
A: The Tooth Fairy.

mum

Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."

eileen