joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.

Dude

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.

slim

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.

Anonymous

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"

c sud

Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."

eileen

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"

ChickenFin...

Q: Who is the poorest guy in the south?
A: The Tooth Fairy.

mum

Q. What do clouds do when they become rich?

A. They make it rain!

Anonymous

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Michael