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joke bank - Family Jokes

A girl asks her father, " Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" " No," says her father, " it rains to make the plants grow. Do you understand?" " Not exactly," says the girl. " Why does it rain on the sidewalk?"

JKLouw

Q: If storks bring white babies and crows bring black babies, what bring no babies?
A: Swallows.

Mark My Words

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

TheLaughFa...

A boy was going through his grandmother's wallet one night and found her ID card. "Grandma?" he asked,"How much do you weigh?" His grandmother replied, "That's not an appropriate question, Jimmy" He then asked, "How old are you?" She again replied, "That's not appropriate, Jimmy." Finally he asked, "Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?" Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said, "Oh I see, it's because you got an 'F' in sex."

Gotchi

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.

Mark My Words

Q: Why did the runner stop listing to music?
A: Because she broke too many records.

Anonymous

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Anonymous

Q: Why did the ink pots cry?
A: Their mother was in the pen doing a long sentence.

Anonymous

The bride, upon her engagement, goes to her mother and says, "I've found a man just like Father!" Her mother replies, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

xmastawong

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

leninakansy

Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

TheLaughFa...