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joke bank - Family Jokes

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sex, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sex outback of the church.

Mark My Words

Q. Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning?
A. Because they enjoy car toons!

hello_the_...

Little Johnny came in from the backyard sobbing. His mother asked "What's the matter?" "Dad was fixing the fence and hit his thumb with the hammer," he said through his tears. "That's not so serious," his mother said, "and a big boy like you shouldn't cry about that. Why didn't you just laugh?" "I did!" cried Johnny.

ldycre8or

What is the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.

Anonymous

Q. What's an astronaut's favorite social media website?

A. MySpace

Anonymous

A girl asks her father, " Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" " No," says her father, " it rains to make the plants grow. Do you understand?" " Not exactly," says the girl. " Why does it rain on the sidewalk?"

JKLouw

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? A: Because the "P" is silent.

Anonymous

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Anonymous

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time and asked his dad, "Why doesn't the stork recognize me?"

Dickie

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

looloo

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

TheLaughFa...

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

Anonymous