joke bank - Family Jokes

A boy was going through his grandmother's wallet one night and found her ID card. "Grandma?" he asked,"How much do you weigh?" His grandmother replied, "That's not an appropriate question, Jimmy" He then asked, "How old are you?" She again replied, "That's not appropriate, Jimmy." Finally he asked, "Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?" Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said, "Oh I see, it's because you got an 'F' in sex."

Gotchi

Little Johnny came in from the backyard sobbing. His mother asked "What's the matter?" "Dad was fixing the fence and hit his thumb with the hammer," he said through his tears. "That's not so serious," his mother said, "and a big boy like you shouldn't cry about that. Why didn't you just laugh?" "I did!" cried Johnny.

ldycre8or

Q. Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning?
A. Because they enjoy car toons!

hello_the_...

What is the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.

Anonymous

Q: If storks bring white babies and crows bring black babies, what bring no babies?
A: Swallows.

Mark My Words

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time and asked his dad, "Why doesn't the stork recognize me?"

Dickie

A girl asks her father, " Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" " No," says her father, " it rains to make the plants grow. Do you understand?" " Not exactly," says the girl. " Why does it rain on the sidewalk?"

JKLouw

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Anonymous

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

TheLaughFa...

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.

Mark My Words

Q: Why did the ink pots cry?
A: Their mother was in the pen doing a long sentence.

Anonymous