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joke bank - Family Jokes

Q: Why did the ink pots cry?
A: Their mother was in the pen doing a long sentence.

Anonymous

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

TheLaughFa...

Coach: "Why are you late for the game?"
Caterpillar: "I had to put my shoes on."

Cherri

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

Anonymous

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed. I never knew they worked.

lucy lemon

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to say, "But I never turn it on!" and two to say, "But I did it last time!"

shoff40

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Dorothy Yap

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Anonymous

I'm tired of my grandma! Whenever someone's wedding comes up, she says, "Next is your turn." So I've decided when someone dies I'm going to say, "Next is your turn, grandma."

9Pakistan0

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Tanro Taitai

Two cannibals, a father and son, are walking down the street, when they notice a hot girl passing by. The son says to the father, "Daddy, I'm hungry, let’s eat that girl that just passed by." The father replies, "I've got a better idea son, let’s take this one home and eat your mother instead!"

qyomjan

I went to my sisters house and saw her packing a suitcase. I asked, "What's going on?" She said, "I'm feeling homesick." I suggested, "But you're at your home now." She replied, "I know. I'm sick of it!"

Anonymous