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joke bank - Family Jokes

The bride, upon her engagement, goes to her mother and says, "I've found a man just like Father!" Her mother replies, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

xmastawong

Two cannibals, a father and son, are walking down the street, when they notice a hot girl passing by. The son says to the father, "Daddy, I'm hungry, let’s eat that girl that just passed by." The father replies, "I've got a better idea son, let’s take this one home and eat your mother instead!"

qyomjan

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

leninakansy

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

looloo

Q: What do you call the child of parents from Iceland and Cuba?
A: An ice cube.

Anonymous

Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

TheLaughFa...

Coach: "Why are you late for the game?"
Caterpillar: "I had to put my shoes on."

Cherri

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Tanro Taitai

Growing up, my parents never grounded me unless they were really really mad. I can remember the first time they caught me drinking under age. Mom freaked out and grounded me for a month, but I guess that was a reasonable response for a parent of a second grader.

wfour

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: Its OK. He woke up.

Anonymous

I went to my sisters house and saw her packing a suitcase. I asked, "What's going on?" She said, "I'm feeling homesick." I suggested, "But you're at your home now." She replied, "I know. I'm sick of it!"

Anonymous

Ben: "Dad, there is a hole in my shoe."
Dad: "Yes, Ben, that's where you put your foot."

YOLOSWAG36...