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joke bank - Family Jokes

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

TheLaughFa...

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

Anonymous

Coach: "Why are you late for the game?"
Caterpillar: "I had to put my shoes on."

Cherri

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed. I never knew they worked.

lucy lemon

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to say, "But I never turn it on!" and two to say, "But I did it last time!"

shoff40

The bride, upon her engagement, goes to her mother and says, "I've found a man just like Father!" Her mother replies, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

xmastawong

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Dorothy Yap

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Anonymous

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Tanro Taitai

Two cannibals, a father and son, are walking down the street, when they notice a hot girl passing by. The son says to the father, "Daddy, I'm hungry, let’s eat that girl that just passed by." The father replies, "I've got a better idea son, let’s take this one home and eat your mother instead!"

qyomjan

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: Its OK. He woke up.

Anonymous

I'm tired of my grandma! Whenever someone's wedding comes up, she says, "Next is your turn." So I've decided when someone dies I'm going to say, "Next is your turn, grandma."

9Pakistan0