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joke bank - Family Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: Its OK. He woke up.

Anonymous

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Dorothy Yap

I'm tired of my grandma! Whenever someone's wedding comes up, she says, "Next is your turn." So I've decided when someone dies I'm going to say, "Next is your turn, grandma."

9Pakistan0

Q: How do you make antifreeze?
A: You steal her pajamas.

Anonymous

Why Did The Pirates Go To The Movies?
Because It Was Rated Rrrrr...

Anonymous

A child asks, "Mommy, does God use our bathroom?" The mother replies, "No darling. Why do you ask?" The child says, "Because every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, 'Oh God, are you still in there?'"

Anonymous

Cannibal #1: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
Cannibal #2: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"

TheLaughFa...

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to say, "But I never turn it on!" and two to say, "But I did it last time!"

shoff40

My friend came up to me at work looking depressed. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I think I had sex with my third cousin." I replied, "If you're that worried about it, quit counting them!"

jimmy 8585

Get a new car for your spouse; it will be a great trade!

Anonymous

My mom drinks Diet Coke despite knowing full well of the repercussions to her health. You might say she's a sodamasochist.

Back Jerte...

A: Why does your nose run?
B: Because it can't walk.

Keith