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joke bank - Family Jokes

I went to my sisters house and saw her packing a suitcase. I asked, "What's going on?" She said, "I'm feeling homesick." I suggested, "But you're at your home now." She replied, "I know. I'm sick of it!"

Anonymous

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Anonymous

Two cannibals, a father and son, are walking down the street, when they notice a hot girl passing by. The son says to the father, "Daddy, I'm hungry, let’s eat that girl that just passed by." The father replies, "I've got a better idea son, let’s take this one home and eat your mother instead!"

qyomjan

Q: How do you make antifreeze?
A: You steal her pajamas.

Anonymous

Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

TheLaughFa...

A child asks, "Mommy, does God use our bathroom?" The mother replies, "No darling. Why do you ask?" The child says, "Because every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, 'Oh God, are you still in there?'"

Anonymous

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”

Henryaxe111

Why Did The Pirates Go To The Movies?
Because It Was Rated Rrrrr...

Anonymous

An uneducated father with his educated son went for a camping
they set up a tent and slept
father gets up after sometime and asks his son"what can you see in the sky?"
son:i can see many stars
father:what does it resemble?
son:there are many planets
father beats on his sons head and says "Someone has stolen our tent"

Anonymous

My mom drinks Diet Coke despite knowing full well of the repercussions to her health. You might say she's a sodamasochist.

Back Jerte...

mom said joe can i have a shower with you tonight? yes honey but don't look up!
when they got in the shower joe looked up and asked what is that mum? mom said
it is Tokyo!the next day the same thing happened but this time he asked his dad
when they took a shower he looked up and asked what is that? it is a huge dinosaur! that night he asked both his parents can i sleep with you tonight? sure they said so they all hopped in bed and joe looked under the covers and said OH NO THE DINOSAUR IS ATTACKING TOKYO!

libby

My friend came up to me at work looking depressed. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I think I had sex with my third cousin." I replied, "If you're that worried about it, quit counting them!"

jimmy 8585