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joke bank - Family Jokes

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

leninakansy

Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

TheLaughFa...

Q: How do you make antifreeze?
A: You steal her pajamas.

Anonymous

Growing up, my parents never grounded me unless they were really really mad. I can remember the first time they caught me drinking under age. Mom freaked out and grounded me for a month, but I guess that was a reasonable response for a parent of a second grader.

wfour

A child asks, "Mommy, does God use our bathroom?" The mother replies, "No darling. Why do you ask?" The child says, "Because every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, 'Oh God, are you still in there?'"

Anonymous

Why Did The Pirates Go To The Movies?
Because It Was Rated Rrrrr...

Anonymous

My mom drinks Diet Coke despite knowing full well of the repercussions to her health. You might say she's a sodamasochist.

Back Jerte...

Cannibal #1: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
Cannibal #2: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"

TheLaughFa...

My friend came up to me at work looking depressed. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I think I had sex with my third cousin." I replied, "If you're that worried about it, quit counting them!"

jimmy 8585

Get a new car for your spouse; it will be a great trade!

Anonymous

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

Anonymous

Q :How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
A: Walking......Jk,Rowling

Anonymous