joke bank - Family Jokes

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Anonymous

Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

TheLaughFa...

Boy: Hey mum can I have 100 dollars?

Mum: Son money doesn't grow on trees

Boy: Where does money come from?

Mum: Paper

Boy: Does Paper come from?

Mum: ...

Anonymous

My mom drinks Diet Coke despite knowing full well of the repercussions to her health. You might say she's a sodamasochist.

Back Jerte...

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she might Let it Go... Let it Go...

frozen

My friend came up to me at work looking depressed. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I think I had sex with my third cousin." I replied, "If you're that worried about it, quit counting them!"

jimmy 8585

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

Anonymous

Get a new car for your spouse; it will be a great trade!

Anonymous

Cannibal #1: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
Cannibal #2: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"

TheLaughFa...

Kid ask your dad this? How were people born then say this.
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

April Edwards