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joke bank - Family Jokes

"Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?" exclaimed the angry mother. “It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”

TheLaughFa...

It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?" The baby mosquito replied, "It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!"

Swati

Q: Why did the runner stop listing to music?
A: Because she broke too many records.

Anonymous

Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!

hello_the_...

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"

PEPE WHO

A teacher asks, "What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?" A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."

omidmodern

A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college. After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?'' ''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.'' After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''

aashok

Q: Why didn't the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.

slic hated

Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: "It's pasture bedtime."

Lee Ann S.

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Anonymous

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: Its OK. He woke up.

Anonymous

A: Why does your nose run?
B: Because it can't walk.

Keith