WE CHANGED OUR OPEN MIC! FIND US ON TWITTER @THELAUGHFACTORY FOR DETAILS

joke bank - Family Jokes

Q. What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

hello_the_...

Q: Why did the runner stop listing to music?
A: Because she broke too many records.

Anonymous

Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!

hello_the_...

It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?" The baby mosquito replied, "It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!"

Swati

A teacher asks, "What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?" A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."

omidmodern

A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college. After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?'' ''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.'' After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''

aashok

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"

PEPE WHO

Q: Why didn't the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.

slic hated

Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: "It's pasture bedtime."

Lee Ann S.

A 7 year-old and a 4 year-old are in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 7 year-old, "I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you." "Okay," replies the 4 year-old. In the kitchen, when the mother asks the 7 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he answers, "I'll have Coco Pops, bitch." *WHACK* He goes flying out of his chair, crying his eyes out. The mother looks at the 4 year-old & sternly asks, "And what do you want?" "Dunno," he replies, "But it won't be fucking Coco Pops."

abbott98

A: Why does your nose run?
B: Because it can't walk.

Keith

Q: What do you call the child of parents from Iceland and Cuba?
A: An ice cube.

Anonymous