joke bank - Family Jokes

Q: What do you call the child of parents from Iceland and Cuba?
A: An ice cube.

A married couple, Harry and Esther, are out shopping one morning when Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric." Harry replies, "How about a chair?"

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

Have you heard the story of the magic sandwich? Never mind, it's just a bunch of bologna.

Q. What's an astronaut's favorite social media website?

A. MySpace

''Doctor, my nose is 11 inches long!"
''Come back when it grows into a foot!"

A fourth grade teacher asks the class, "Have any of you ever saved somebody's life?" A little boy raises his hand, "Yes, my little nephew's." "Wow, what a little hero you are! How did you do that, sweetie?" asks the teacher. The little guy replies, "I hid my sister's birth control pills!"

Ben: "Dad, there is a hole in my shoe."
Dad: "Yes, Ben, that's where you put your foot."

A girl asks her father, " Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" " No," says her father, " it rains to make the plants grow. Do you understand?" " Not exactly," says the girl. " Why does it rain on the sidewalk?"

The bride, upon her engagement, goes to her mother and says, "I've found a man just like Father!" Her mother replies, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Q. What do you call a fly without wings?

A. A walk

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.