joke bank - Food Jokes

A guy is going on an ocean cruise and he tells his doctor that he's worried about getting seasick. The doctor suggests, ''Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.'' The guy replies, ''Will that keep me from getting sick, Doc?'' The doctor says, "No, but it'll look really pretty in the water.''


Yo momma is so stupid she ate her food stamps.


I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn't believe it when I rode pasta.

Ryan gillett

The employees at Taco Bell recently started wearing gloves when preparing the food. Ever wonder if their intentions are to protect their hands from the food they're serving?


Q: What's a race car's favorite thing to eat for lunch?
A: Fast food!


Yo momma's so poor, when I told her about the Last Supper, she thought the food stamps had run out.


Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A: A walnut.

D Hawk

I work at a local fast food joint. It cracks me up when a fat ass customer orders a quadruple stacked cheeseburger, with extra sauce, a ton of extras, extra large fries with extra sauce, and then orders a small diet coke.


Three men are all working on building a house. They go up to the roof for lunch, and unwrapped their sandwiches. The Brunette says "if I get one more Tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and kill myself. The black haired one says "if I get one more pickle and lettuce sandwich, I, too, am going to jump off this roof and kill myself. The blonde looks at his sandwich and also declares, "if I get one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm going to jump off this roof and kill myself." The next day, they all get the same sandwiches and kill themselves. That night, their wives all meet up and mourn. "If I had known that my husband was going to kill himself over a sandwich, I wouldn't have given it to him." The brunette cries. "Same," the raven head replies. They both look at the blonde. "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch!"


Two old timers were talking after church one day and the one asks the other, "So tell me brother, what did you think of the soul food this morning?" The other replies, "The food was excellent but the service sucked!"


A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."


Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover.

D Hawk