Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."