A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
You're so ugly, your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes, so he doesn't have to kiss you goodbye.
You've got your head so far up your ass you can chew your food twice.