You've got your head so far up your ass you can chew your food twice.
How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.
I don't mind that you are talking, so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
Hold still, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A BMW has pricks on the inside!