Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Catch Tim Allen monthly in Hollywood on Thursday, October 6th! Come see Adam Ray, Andrew Santino, Chris Redd, Jordan Rock, and more in Hollywood this week. Check the Clubs & Tickets page for more.

joke bank - Insult Jokes

When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.


Everyone has a right to be ugly but you abuse the privilege.


A student asked his teacher how old she was. She promptly said, "39 and holding." Then the student asked, "Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?"


You remind me of the ocean, you make me sick.


I like your approach, now let's see your departure.


He has one brain cell, and it is fighting for dominance.


If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.


If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.

Anal Avenger

I would hit you but that would count as animal abuse.

Mitchell R...

I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!


Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have five fingers;
The middle one's for you.

My brother...

The only positive thing about you is your HIV status.

Justin Dal...