Sure, I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay an admission fee.
Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
When somebody calls you gay, say, "I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on."
You've got your head so far up your ass you can chew your food twice.
If you call one of those psychic hotlines and they don't greet you by your name, you should hang up!