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joke bank - Insult Jokes

Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

squatter dude

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Achtung

Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."

FuzzyPanda123

I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked, "What the f*ck are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

luis

A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving." The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"

Anonymous

A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"

shahrzad

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

LaughFactory

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

Cuba

You know you're getting fat when you say you're fat in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.

assyrian

What's the difference between three penises and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke.

TOBYMTZ1083

You have so many gaps in your teeth, it looks like your tongue is in jail.

princessdee7

One woman I was dating called and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

stepbreaker