joke bank - Insult Jokes

I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying.

A man siting at a bar asked a pretty woman sitting next to him, Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?" "Get away from me, you pervert," she replied. "Oh, I'm sorry," exclaims the man, "It must be your feet."

Insult: If you were any dumber, your head would implode.
Response: If you were a little bit more intelligent you'd still be stupid.

You're so fat you're the reason why the Earth is tilted.

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Q: How do you leave a jackass in suspense?
A: Don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.

Q: Who is the poorest guy in the south?
A: The Tooth Fairy.

Q: How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?
A: Put up a Bingo sign.

Well, they do say opposites attract. So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.