joke bank - Insult Jokes

I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying.

Insult: If you were any dumber, your head would implode.
Response: If you were a little bit more intelligent you'd still be stupid.

Bob: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Joe: "To get to the idiot's house."
Bob: "Knock knock."
Joe: "Who's there?"
Bob: "The chicken."

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

You're so fat you're the reason why the Earth is tilted.

Q: How do you leave a jackass in suspense?
A: Don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow

A man siting at a bar asked a pretty woman sitting next to him, Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?" "Get away from me, you pervert," she replied. "Oh, I'm sorry," exclaims the man, "It must be your feet."

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

Q: Who is the poorest guy in the south?
A: The Tooth Fairy.

You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.

Well, they do say opposites attract. So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers. Your face.