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joke bank - Insult Jokes

Insult: If you were any dumber, your head would implode.
Response: If you were a little bit more intelligent you'd still be stupid.

LaughFactory

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

vicky7867

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

eugene611

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

Aiden

Q: How do you leave a jackass in suspense?
A: Don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow

wise guy

Bob: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Joe: "To get to the idiot's house."
Bob: "Knock knock."
Joe: "Who's there?"
Bob: "The chicken."

Anonymous

You're so fat you're the reason why the Earth is tilted.

BrittanyHo...

A man siting at a bar asked a pretty woman sitting next to him, Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?" "Get away from me, you pervert," she replied. "Oh, I'm sorry," exclaims the man, "It must be your feet."

Mark My Words

Q: Who is the poorest guy in the south?
A: The Tooth Fairy.

mum

Well, they do say opposites attract. So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

LaughFactory

You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.

LaughFactory

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

Anonymous