joke bank - Insult Jokes

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Q: How do you leave a jackass in suspense?
A: Don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow

A man siting at a bar asked a pretty woman sitting next to him, Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?" "Get away from me, you pervert," she replied. "Oh, I'm sorry," exclaims the man, "It must be your feet."

You're so fat you're the reason why the Earth is tilted.

Bob: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Joe: "To get to the idiot's house."
Bob: "Knock knock."
Joe: "Who's there?"
Bob: "The chicken."

Q: Who is the poorest guy in the south?
A: The Tooth Fairy.

You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.

Well, they do say opposites attract. So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers. Your face.

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."