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joke bank - Insult Jokes

Your face looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a fork.

rayrayrawrsu

A guy is sitting at a bar, and a drunk dude walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The first guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk dude comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The first guy looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk dude walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what, Dad? Go home!"

Stampi2

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, so I said, "I want a second opinion." He said, "Okay, you're ugly too."

Cutifulone

Tom: "Were you born on the highway?"
Jerry: "Uh no, why?"
Tom: "Because that's where most accidents happen."

PandaBuddy...

You're so stupid, you threw a rock at the ground and missed.

LaughFactory

Insult: Hey, you're not much of a looker, but I'll date you.
Response: Thanks. You must be very open-minded. Was that how your brain slipped out?

LaughFactory

A fat man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a minute or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fat guy and tells him, "Sorry about your weight."

jayandheather

Hold still, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

LaughFactory

Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.

LaughFactory

You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.

LaughFactory

I don't mind that you are talking, so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.

LaughFactory

Tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

LaughFactory