I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
You're so ugly, your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes, so he doesn't have to kiss you goodbye.
Your face looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a fork.
Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.
Your Halloween costume came in the mail today. I opened it. It was a rooster mask and a bag of lollipops. Going as a c*ck sucker again!?