A man siting at a bar asked a pretty woman sitting next to him, Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?" "Get away from me, you pervert," she replied. "Oh, I'm sorry," exclaims the man, "It must be your feet."
You're so fat you're the reason why the Earth is tilted.
Q: How do you leave a jackass in suspense?
A: Don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow
Bob: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Joe: "To get to the idiot's house."
Bob: "Knock knock."
Joe: "Who's there?"
Bob: "The chicken."
You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.