Your face looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a fork.
Insult: Hey, you're not much of a looker, but I'll date you.
Response: Thanks. You must be very open-minded. Was that how your brain slipped out?
I don't mind that you are talking, so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
You're so ugly, your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes, so he doesn't have to kiss you goodbye.