A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
How did giraffes come to be? Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving." The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"
Bob: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Joe: "To get to the idiot's house."
Bob: "Knock knock."
Joe: "Who's there?"
Bob: "The chicken."
Tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?