How did giraffes come to be? Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
You're so ugly, your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes, so he doesn't have to kiss you goodbye.
Your face looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a fork.
You're so ugly that when you were born they didn't slap you they slapped your mom.