You're so ugly, your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes, so he doesn't have to kiss you goodbye.
Your face looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a fork.
You're so ugly that when you were born they didn't slap you they slapped your mom.
How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.
Insult: Hey, you're not much of a looker, but I'll date you.
Response: Thanks. You must be very open-minded. Was that how your brain slipped out?