You're so ugly that when you were born they didn't slap you they slapped your mom.
Insult: Hey, you're not much of a looker, but I'll date you.
Response: Thanks. You must be very open-minded. Was that how your brain slipped out?
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A BMW has pricks on the inside!
I don't mind that you are talking, so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, so I said, "I want a second opinion." He said, "Okay, you're ugly too."