TIM ALLEN - HOLLYWOOD - AUGUST 9 KEVIN NEALON - HOLLYWOOD - AUGUST 7 PRETTY, FUNNY WOMEN - HOLLYWOOD - JULY 19 ANDREW DICE CLAY - TROPICANA LAS VEGAS - AUG 17-19

joke bank - Joke of the Day

I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

Today's Joke

Anonymous

Q: Why can you never trust an atom?



A: Because they make up everything

Featured on July 15, 2018

Dr. Quack ...

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

Featured on July 14, 2018

Anime

A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Featured on July 13, 2018

Aimee Szwaj

A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"

Featured on July 12, 2018

jahangir1352

A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."

Featured on July 11, 2018

solotime

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "If you can make that horse over there laugh, you can get free drinks for the rest of the night." The man walks over, says something to the horse, it laughs, and he walks back over to the bar to collect his free drinks. The next night, the man goes back to the bar and the bartender asks the man if he can make the horse cry. The man walks over, does something to the horse, and it starts to cry. The bartender asks, "How did you make it cry?" The man replies, "Well, to make the horse laugh last night I told it I had a bigger dick and to make it cry tonight I showed it."

Featured on July 10, 2018

Anonymous

My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.

At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Featured on July 09, 2018

StanBKK