joke bank - Latest Jokes

Teacher: How much is a gram?


Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need

Why are frogs always so happy? They eat what ever bugs them

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners

The lady says, "Come Again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!


Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already worldwide.

Q: Why can you never trust an atom?



A: Because they make up everything

Two women are walking home from the bar, they both have to piss so they slip into a nearby cemetery. One uses her panties to wipe herself, and the other uses a reef off a head stone.


Next night the husbands met at the bar, one looks at the other and says "I'm gonna have to watch my wife, she came home with no panties last night." The other one says "Oh well, mine came home with a card wedged in her ass saying "You were loved and will be missed by the whole entire fire department."