Yo momma's breath smelled so bad when she walked by a clock it said, "Tic Tac."
A teacher asked her students to use the word "contagious" in a sentence. Johnny raised his hand and said, "My mom was shoveling the driveway and my dad said, 'At this rate, it will take that cunt ages.'"
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!
Yo mamma is so fat when she gets her shoes shined she has to take their word for it.
Teacher: "Jill, where is the America on the map?"
Jill: "Right there, ma'am."
Teacher: "Correct. Now, Jack, tell me who found America."
Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as Frank Sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name?
Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: "Are you going to kiss me or rot?"
Q: What stays in one corner but travels around the world?
A: A stamp.
Yo mama is so black, she doesn't even have white blood cells.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme.
Some poems don't.
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to hold the light bulb and four to turn the house.
Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A: A walnut.
Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover.
Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: To know which witch is which!
Yo mama so fat the only reason she took algebra in high school was because she heard there was gonna be some pi.
Patient: "I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."
Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out."
Yo mamma's so ugly, when her house was being robbed, the mugger took off his mask and made her wear it.
Your momma is like a hardware store: 10 cents a screw.
Q: What do KFC and pussy have in common?
A: Both are finger lickin' good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.
Little Johnny traveled North to visit his friend during winter time. His friend's mother saw Johnny shivering, so she said, "Come here and put your hands between my thighs to warm them up." Johnny said, "My ears are cold too."