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I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

Iamsnappy4

A priest is sitting in a confession box and has to go to the bathroom. He calls an alter boy over and says, "I have to go pee and I need you to take over." Not knowing what to do, the alter boy asks for help. The priest says, "Just give them a few Hail Marys and send them on their way." Soon after, a blonde woman walks in the booth and says, "Forgive me father. I have committed a sin. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob." The alter boy is confused, so he asks another nearby alter boy, "What does the priest usually give for a blowjob?" The second alter boy replies, "I don't know about you, but my price is a candy bar and a Pepsi."

Hebrew Special

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.

Anal Avenger

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

A Blonde

Q: How can you tell a blonde has been having a bad day?
A: She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Payton sharp

Yo momma's so fat that Mount Everest tried to climb her.

Anonymous

Q: How do they know that Paul Walker had dandruff?
A: They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.

Rachel Miller

Yo mamma so stupid, she put a quarter in the parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Alek

Yo mama so fat that I would insult her, but cows are sacred where I come from.

Anonymous

Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: They don't like fast food.

Anonymous

Q: Why do Jewish women love circumcised men?
A: Because they like 20 percent off.

Brett rosenblum

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A: A cocksucker.

Brett rosenblum

Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A: Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts there.

Anonymous

A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."

valli :)

If tomatoes are a fruit, isn't ketchup a smoothie?

BeanerMe

Q: What do you call 5 Mexicans in a jacuzzi?
A: Bean dip.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.

Dude

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself and replied, "My wife's first husband."

Youden

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"

Darkrose300

Yo mama so fat, she has her own zip code.

Puressited73