Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday!

joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

How I learned to mind my own business: I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and I could hear all the patients shouting, "13! 13! 13!" The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Someone poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting, "14! 14! 14!"

archie

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Lucyfaith16

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...

Q: What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
A: "Supplies!"

LAMEGIRL23

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Kiana

One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"

FuzzyPanda123

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

TheLaughFa...

An American Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. “Mom, why is my big brother named Mighty Storm?” “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.” “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her." "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?” "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived. Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?”

Tenderoni

A man was walking down the street and saw a sign in a store window that said "Help Wanted," so the man ran in the store and yelled out, "What's wrong?!"

animal p.

A man goes to a strip club with an alligator. He says, "I bet you that I can put my dick into this alligator's mouth for 1 minute, and when I take it out, it will not be damaged. If I succeed, all of you will buy me drinks. If I fail, I will buy all of you drinks." The other men agree and he puts his dick into the alligator's mouth for 1 minute. After 1 minute, he hits the alligator on the head with a beer bottle, and he opens his mouth. To everyone's surprise, his dick is unharmed. "Now, before you buy me drinks, does anybody else want to try?" After a while, someone in the back finally raises their hand. It's a woman. "I guess I can try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."

Anonymous

Q. Why did the apple run away?
A. Because the banana split!

hello_the_...

Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!”
Patient: “I am 60!”
Doctor: “See! What did I tell you?”

Bookworm