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joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Q: What do you call a doll on fire?
A: A Barbie-Q.

TheLaughFa...

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

Q: Why do pilgrims pants fall down?
A: Because their belts are on their hats.

Anonymous

Pedro lives in an orphanage. One day Pedro is heading towards town with his hands claped together, when the padre who runs this orphanage asks Pedro, "What do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Pedro replies, "Father, I have horseflies and I am going to town to get horses." Sure enough later Pedro comes back with two beautiful Arabians. Next day Pedro walks past the priest again with the same question, "Pedro, what do you have in your hand and where are you going?" Pedro replies once again, "Father I have butter and I am going to town to get butterflies." Sure enough Pedro returns with beautiful monarch butterflies. The very next day Pedro is headed towards town once again when the Priest asks the same question, "Pedro what do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Again Pedro replies, "Father I have Pussy willows-" "Wait, Pedro!" says the Priest, "I'll go with you!!"

Mark My Words

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Kiana

Q: Why don't cannibals eat comedians?
A: They taste funny.

HaHaHa

A man was walking down the street and saw a sign in a store window that said "Help Wanted," so the man ran in the store and yelled out, "What's wrong?!"

animal p.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Anonymous

Three old timers at the retirement home were complaining about growing old. The first one says, "I wake up at 7:00 AM and try for a half hour to take a poop." The second one says, "Oh yeah? I spend an hour trying to pee." The third one says, "I take a nice poop at 7:00 AM and about 7:30 AM take a nice pee." The other two guys look at him and ask, "What are you complaining about?" The third man explains, "I don't wake up till 8:30 AM."

Mark My Words

Q. What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

hello_the_...

Q: What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?
A: Bernadette.

Anonymous

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...