TIM ALLEN IS BACK IN HOLLYWOOD ON FEB 1ST! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS SO HURRY AND GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!! COME AND SUPPORT A SPECIAL FUNDRAISER SHOW FOR THE CRIMMINS' FAMILY ON JAN. 23RD FEATURING TODAY'S TOP COMICS! CATCH KEVIN NEALON ON NEW MATERIAL FEATURING TODAY'S TOP STAND-UP COMEDIANS ON FEB. 13TH! JOIN COMEDY LEGEND BILL BURR AS HE HEADLINES THE BOSTON FOR CRIMMINS' FUNDRAISER SHOW THIS TUESDAY ON JAN. 23RD. COME, SUPPORT, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH BILL AND OTHER TOP BOSTON COMICS FOR THIS SPECIAL EVENT

joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Q: What do you call a doll on fire?
A: A Barbie-Q.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why don't cannibals eat comedians?
A: They taste funny.

HaHaHa

Q: Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
A: Because freedom rings!

h_crumbs

Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!

hello_the_...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

TheLaughFa...

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"

PEPE WHO

Three old timers at the retirement home were complaining about growing old. The first one says, "I wake up at 7:00 AM and try for a half hour to take a poop." The second one says, "Oh yeah? I spend an hour trying to pee." The third one says, "I take a nice poop at 7:00 AM and about 7:30 AM take a nice pee." The other two guys look at him and ask, "What are you complaining about?" The third man explains, "I don't wake up till 8:30 AM."

Mark My Words

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken.

Victor Le

A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled. Both the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real man and woman in the bushes behind them to "get things done." The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the bushes and screaming sounds and laughter can be heard from their activities. 12 minutes later they return to the front of the bush again claiming they are finished. "Well now, that was kinda quick!" the genie says. "You can do it a second time for the remaining 3 minutes if you want," the genie tells them, winking his eye. Both the female and male look at each other and smile. The man says to the woman, "Okay great, but this time you get to hold the pigeon so I can shit on him!"

8AR7

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...

Fred: "Why do elephants wear red nail polish?"
Bob: "I don't know, why?"
Fred: "To hide in cherry trees."
Bob: "But I've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree."
Fred: "See, it works."

Swiftie

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Lucyfaith16