Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick.
What is so great about being a test tube baby? You get a womb with a view.
On a windy day, an old lady is standing on a street corner, holding on to her hat with both hands, even though her dress is flying up over her face. An old man across the street sees her and runs over. As he approaches her, he says, "Sister, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, standing over here in all this wind with your dress flying over your head, exposing your paraphernalia, and you're holding that damn hat with both hands. You ought to be ashamed." She looked at him and said, "Look here, fool, everything down there is 80 years old, but this hat is brand new."
When someone yawns, do deaf people think they're screaming?
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.