Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
I eat mop
I eat mop who?
Hah! You said, "I eat ma poo!"
There are three friends named Mad, Brain, and Fight. One day Fight went missing and his friends Mad and Brain started searching for him. Then Brain said, "Mad, let's file a missing person report with the police." When they were about to walk into the police station, Brain said, "Mad, you go and make the report. I will wait for you here." Mad said, "Okay." Mad walked in but no police officers paid attention to him. Then he saw a policeman drinking a cup of coffee. Mad went to the officer, smacked the table, and the cup of coffee flew in the air, landing in the officer's lap. Angry, the policeman asked, "Are you looking for a fight?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am." The policeman asked, "Are you mad?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am Mad." The policeman then asked, "Don't you have a brain?" Mad replied, "Brain is outside sir."
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.
Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."