Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."
Q: Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
A: To get to the same side.
Q: What's red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
Two rednecks were walking along when they saw a dog licking its balls. The first redneck said, "I wish I could do that." The other redneck said, "You dumbass, he would bite you."