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joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Anonymous

Q: What's red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.

Anonymous

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming.

screwstock

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Anonymous

What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill? Running...JK! Rolling.

pinkshorts...

How I learned to mind my own business: I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and I could hear all the patients shouting, "13! 13! 13!" The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Someone poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting, "14! 14! 14!"

archie

Q: What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
A: "Supplies!"

LAMEGIRL23

Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town." The old man says, "We're from Nebraska." Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?" The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from." "Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires. When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska." The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?" The husband replies, "He thinks he knows you, mama."

Mark My Words

Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits your windshield?
A: Its butt.

LEXMIA

Q: Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
A: To get to the same side.

square boy

Me: Siri, where is the best place to hide a body?
Siri: The second page of a Google search.

Anonymous

What is so great about being a test tube baby? You get a womb with a view.

Anonymous