joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Q: Why is a river rich? A: Because it has two banks.

ISHA KHANNA

Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town." The old man says, "We're from Nebraska." Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?" The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from." "Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires. When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska." The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?" The husband replies, "He thinks he knows you, mama."

Mark My Words

Q. What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns?

A. Go for the juggler.

Anonymous

A guy goes to see his doctor, and the doctor says, "Well, I'm afraid you have six weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh damn, well what should I do doctor?" The doctor tells him, "You should take a mud bath once a day for the next six weeks," and the guy asks, "Why? Is that supposed to help?" and the doctor says, "No, but it'll get you used to being in the ground."

hollow1030

What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill? Running...JK! Rolling.

pinkshorts...

''Doctor, my nose is 11 inches long!"
''Come back when it grows into a foot!"

hello_the_...

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming.

screwstock

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

rudikelly

The old couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird, too .' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.'

Eagle145

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Anonymous

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Stop crying, you little baby.

Anonymous

Have you heard the story of the magic sandwich? Never mind, it's just a bunch of bologna.

Iamsnappy4