CHRIS D'ELIA IS BACK ON THE LUCK OF THE IRISH SHOW ON FEB. 23RD! LAUGH ALL NIGHT WITH SOCAL'S BEST COMICS ON ALL-STAR COMEDY EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD DROP BY ON THE SET DANE COOK IS BACK THIS TUESDAY (FEB 20) AND SATURDAY (FEB 24) TO MAKE YOU LAUGH ALL NIGHT! DON'T MISS THIS SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Q: How can you get high underwater?
A: Sea weed

Anonymous

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

iwe

Q: Why did the zombie go to the music store? A: He wanted to buy some organs.

Dylan and ...

An apartment building is on fire. Firefighters are on the scene, however both their ladder and life net are broken. A star quarterback sees the commotion and asks, "What's happening? Can I help?" The fire chief says, "There's a mother and baby stuck in the building on the 19th floor! The mother is up there in the window. Can you catch her child?" The mother frantically waves down to the men below and the football player shouts up to her, "Go ahead, I'm ready!" He holds his arms out and the women drops the infant. Just when the quarterback deftly catches the child, he spikes it to the ground yelling, "TOUCHDOWN!"

Skellur

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.

Hamid

If you think nobody cares you are alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Anonymous

Q: What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.

Anonymous

Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity. He got it back.

Anonymous

I'm an anesthesiologist. I get to pass gas for a living.

MrCurtisP

Q: What runs but never walks?
A: Water.

jmaymi

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "Of course not Johnny." To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants."

lglaugh

What did the zero say to the eight? I like your belt!

tawnya