joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

I work at a local fast food joint. It cracks me up when a fat ass customer orders a quadruple stacked cheeseburger, with extra sauce, a ton of extras, extra large fries with extra sauce, and then orders a small diet coke.


Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was friends. One day, Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux driving a brand new Ford. He said, "Thibodeaux, where'd you get that new truck? You don't have no job." Tibodeaux said, "You know Mrs. Patty? She's been sweet on me for quite some time. Today, she took me out into the woods in this here truck. She got out the truck, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Thibodeaux, take what you want.' So I took the truck." Boudreaux said, "Well dats good for you Thibodeaux, because her clothes would never fit you."

Boo Boo Co...

Why did the strawberry cross the road? Because it's mama was in a jam!


What's brown and sticky? A stick!


Every time I lose weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.

Didi Rexie A

Doctor: "I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol."
Patient: "That's okay. I'll come back when you are sober."


Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
A: Because Donald ducked!


Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?
A: "Nobody's perfect!"

Rob P Post

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. It's cold outside.


A man got in a car accident with a dwarf, who got out of his car and said, "I'm not happy!" The man replied, "Well, which one are you?"


Two judges were stumbling home from their local pub, arms around each other, loudly singing Kenny Rodgers. "Hey," said one, "I think we're drunk." "You are right, and according to the law I will have to charge you with being drunk and disorderly," said his mate. "And you will have to appear before me at 10AM tomorrow," said the first. Next morning in court, the first pleaded guilty to the charge and was fined $10. They then switched places. "Drunk and disorderly, eh? You are fined $20." "Hey," protested the first, "When I was in was in chair I only fined you $10!" "Yes," said the second judge, "But the offence is becoming too common. You are the second drunk to appear before the court this morning."


Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
A: He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.