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joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was friends. One day, Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux driving a brand new Ford. He said, "Thibodeaux, where'd you get that new truck? You don't have no job." Tibodeaux said, "You know Mrs. Patty? She's been sweet on me for quite some time. Today, she took me out into the woods in this here truck. She got out the truck, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Thibodeaux, take what you want.' So I took the truck." Boudreaux said, "Well dats good for you Thibodeaux, because her clothes would never fit you."

Boo Boo Co...

I work at a local fast food joint. It cracks me up when a fat ass customer orders a quadruple stacked cheeseburger, with extra sauce, a ton of extras, extra large fries with extra sauce, and then orders a small diet coke.


What's brown and sticky? A stick!


Doctor: "I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol."
Patient: "That's okay. I'll come back when you are sober."


Why did the strawberry cross the road? Because it's mama was in a jam!


A man got in a car accident with a dwarf, who got out of his car and said, "I'm not happy!" The man replied, "Well, which one are you?"


Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
A: Because Donald ducked!


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. It's cold outside.


Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
A: He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.


Every time I lose weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.

Didi Rexie A

On top of a hill area, there are three draculas bragging about their powers to each other. The first one, points at a large house in the village underneath them, and quickly fly towards it. In about five minutes, he's back with a hint of blood dripping from his lip. Proudly, he says that all the humans living in that house died from his attack. The second dracula laughs as he's pointing to a small village area. After that, the second dracula jumps and flies in a quicker manner than the first one, in not more than a minute, he's already back with his mouth covered in blood. He says that all the people in the village that he pointed at died from his quick and brutal attack. The first dracula felt beaten, while the third one didn't say anything, but he gave one cold stare to a direction with small city lights at the end of it. Without any word, he flashed into that direction, and in more of a shock, he's back in around five seconds of time with face all covered in blood. Both previous draculas are surprised, and asked him if had he slaughtered the people in that small city. The third dracula shouts, "Did you two see that electrical pole in front of us?" they replied, "Of course we did, why?" still shouting, the third dracula says, "Goddammit, I didn't!"


Q. Why is quantum mechanics is the original "original hipster"?
A. It described the universe before it was cool.