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joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."


The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.


I think I killed my best friend. He asked me what was the best thing for sunburn and I told him, "Sit in the sun for eight hours."

Rudy Jones

Q: Why should you never trust a toilet?
A: Because it's full of shit.

Michael le...

Google will tell you that the number 1 sign of alcoholism is drinking alone. I feel that the number 1 sign of alcoholism is having to Google "number 1 sign of alcoholism."

Dan Frigol...

A guy walks into a bar, and breaks his nose!!!


A guy in a bar pukes on his shirt. His mate says, “No worries, just stick a $10 bill in your pocket, and tell your wife some guy puked on you and gave you the money for the cleaning bill!” So, he explains this to his wife who then asks, “So why are there two $10 bills in your pocket?” He replies, “Oh, because the guy pissed in my pants as well!”


Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: "Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!"
Santa: "Haven't you heard the announcement that the train is arriving on the platform?"


Gasoline is so overpriced right now, ExxonMobil just changed the names of their three grades of gas to Tall, Grande, and Venti!


Q: What did the triangle say to the circle? A: "You're pointless!"


I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Jean Kerr

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Repeat who?
Okay, who who who who who who...