joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: "You're too young to smoke."

Terence Ol...

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.

bablub048

Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.

slim

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

Q. What do clouds do when they become rich?

A. They make it rain!

Anonymous

There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, "Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."

Mikayla

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

the chicken

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees. After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The bastard used coins, so I'm still picking it up and he is still having sex with me!"

Bertha Kee

Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.
Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."

marcus walker

At the doctor's office, Tom was getting a check up. "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor. "The good news is you have 24 hours left to live." Tom replies, "That's the good news?!" Then the doctor says, "The bad news is I should have told you that yesterday."

Anonymous