A guy walks into a bar with a 10 foot long alligator. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that animal outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'll get sued." The guy says, "No no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth, zips up his pants, and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
Q: What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? A: 100 people who don't do dick.
Chuck Norris got shot. We are now in the hospital, where the bullet is in critical condition.
Q: What do you call a doll on fire?
A: A Barbie-Q.