Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Stay tuned to see the biggest names of comedy on New Material Night with Kevin Nealon Catch Tim Allen monthly on our Hollywood stage

joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"

TheLaughFa...

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.

jj zenir

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

Aiden

A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children?" The father answers, "Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?"

SaltyDog01

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Anonymous

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

WhiteFang333

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

brock

You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."

Rimmothy

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.

Capricorn37

A man called his child's doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

Gerri

Q. What can you give and keep at the same time?
A. A cold!

hello_the_...

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy