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joke bank - Office Jokes

Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1,000 letters?
A: Post office.

CanadianBr...

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.

mmowry

Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.

marty

An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."

myaghoubi

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.

Mark My Words

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes!

Anonymous

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”

VinceA

Why is christmas just like the day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Anonymous

How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

I_H8_2_lov...

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Edsger Dij...

What do you call a bench full of white people? The NBA!

kwikski19