joke bank - Office Jokes

What do your boss and a slinky have in common? They’re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.

Anonymous

A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!” The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I'm not trying to outrun the lion, I'm trying to outrun you!”

kwamethedon

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.

Mark My Words

What do you call a bench full of white people? The NBA!

kwikski19

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.

mmowry

An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."

myaghoubi

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

Anonymous

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes!

Anonymous

Guy calls in to his Boss:
Worker: I can't come to work today. I'm sick
Boss: Oh yea! What's wrong with you now?
Worker: I have anal glaucoma.
Boss: What the hell is that?
Worker: I just can't see my ass working today.

Anonymous

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

Anonymous

Why is christmas just like the day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Anonymous