joke bank - Office Jokes

A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper? About two weeks.

What can a goose do that a duck can't, but a lawyer should? Shove its bill up its ass!

If an accountant's spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure? Ask the accountant to talk about their work.

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

Why can't designated hitters bake pancakes? They also forget the batter.

Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.

How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert. He stares at YOUR shoes while he talks to you.

We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off. Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

Do you know what happens if you piss of a pilot? He takes off.