What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”